Muskoka Recovery: Q&A w. Former Client Megan

1. What is your background? Can you briefly describe your life prior to entering Muskoka Recovery (MR)? 
   • What led you to seek help?
   • What was the main reason that you decided to go to Muskoka Recovery?

My name is Megan, I am 38 years old and a married, mother of 3 children. My entire life teenage/adult life has been riddled with excessive drinking, substance abuse, emotional irregulating and impulse control issues. My highs have always been too high, my lows have always been too low and there’s never really been a happy medium. Beginning at age 13, starting with weed and beer, my use escalated to hard liquor, coke and crack rather quickly. Though my drug of choice has changed many times throughout the years, drugs and alcohol have always been a recurring issue in my life. I attended my first rehabilitation centre (6-month program) at the age of 18 due to heavy drinking, and legal issues. Despite becoming a mom at the age of 20, I continued to struggle with an opiate and crack addiction throughout my 20s. I attended detox on 3 separate occasions and a 21-day government-funded treatment centre without any true success. Only with the aid of the Methadone maintenance program was I able to stop using long enough to build some semblance of a life. I attended college, graduated with honours, successfully obtained a career in the Social Services and was able to successfully wean off the program. All seemed well, until the first major life crisis sent me right back into a full-blown relapse. Opiates, crack, 3 evictions, the loss of my government job, back on Methadone and back in Rehab, unsuccessfully. I was kicked out of treatment after 3 weeks, due to aggressive behaviours. Highs and Lows.

I was diagnosed with ADD in college therefore did a lot of self-exploration and research to find ways to better understand and manage my life, which is where speed entered the picture. This little pill-form of methamphetamine, gave me everything I “needed” to be productive, stay focused, maintain my weight, and keep me from using harder drugs. It was my “light beer’ to an alcoholic, and it worked, for almost 6 years, until it didn’t. In the span of 18 months I quit my job, became pregnant (unexpectedly), had my daughter, and planned/got married, all the while attempting, unsuccessfully, to support my husband through a mental health crisis. When it was all over, life got quiet, everyone was gone and I was alone at home with an infant. My husband was away working 2 weeks out of the month, not including overtime, and I began to spiral. The isolation, despair, resentment and grief, for a life I thought I was on the path to, was overwhelming, and debilitating. I found solace in over shopping, over drinking, overusing, and avoiding any semblance of responsibility when it came to my duties as a mother or a wife.

Finally, I expressed interest to my husband in attending treatment. I knew I was struggling so I did my research, checked reviews, and found a beautiful facility (close enough for my family to visit but far enough to have a break). Even then, I procrastinated, justified, and convinced myself I wasn’t “that bad.”

Sunday, my husband made the decision of “enough is enough.” My ultimatum… Call Muskoka Recovery Centre and do the intake or our marriage would be over. Five minutes later I was on the phone with Christine and had a check in date that Wednesday.

2. What was your experience like at Muskoka Recovery? How long were you there for?

I attended MR for a total of 37 days (7-day Detox – 30-day treatment) from November – December 2024. Upon my arrival, I was greeted by Christine and Damien. The intake process was very welcoming and seamless. I was given a tour, shown to my room, introduced to other clients, provided a sober companion, for any questions/concerns that may arise, and provided the necessary information about the program and facility. Within a few short hours of my arrival, I was seen by a doctor who ensured a comfortable detoxification.

Before attending MR, I understood my need to withdrawal from drugs and alcohol, and rest. But I was convinced, after attending 3 prior treatment centers, I knew everything that could be taught about “getting clean”. Therefore, I was going to use MR as an opportunity to sober up and recharge. However, I left MR with the information and insight on how to “stay” sober and live healthy.

3. Can you describe your experience with Damien Delaney and Christine Iskander while at the centre?

My experience working with Damien and Christine can be summed in the speech I wrote and shared during my graduation ceremony upon completion of the Muskoka Recovery program. These were and continue to be my honest sentiment;

Damien:  I did not have a lot of faith when I got here. I was defensive, combative, and fought, you especially, tooth and nail every step of the way. I was convinced I knew everything you had to teach me, and this program was another shit sandwich on a fancier plater. Everyone kept telling me to trust the process, trust you, that you knew your stuff, you’ve helped so many people, but to be honest I thought I was being indoctrinated.

Then, we had our 1-1s… you didn’t hate me, you didn’t judge me, you didn’t resent me for my shit, know it all attitude.  Instead, you listened, you communicated in a way I understood, you validated my feelings, and all this without wanting anything in return, nothing but to genuinely help me.

Slowly, with each conversation, my walls started to come down, a little at first, but that chink in my armour allowed me to open up, be vulnerable, observe and understand you better, which in turn helped me understand myself a little better. I recognized, over time, the effort, dedication, and passion you put in to each of us. I recognized and admired the carefully crafted decisions and challenges you put forth to each individual client based off your observations. (and yes, he’s always listening). This is what I’m most grateful for. For the first time in my life, I felt heard and not judged, understood and not chastised, Validated not condescended.

This isn’t just a job for you, and it shows in your every interaction. Sometimes even at your own detriment. My only advice; Don’t forget to take a break sometimes, you can’t survive off of DJ’ing and saving lives. I say this with love, because Muskoka Recovery needs you. All its future clients need you. I NEEDED YOU. I am forever grateful for you and this program. Thank you for truly listening.

Christine: YOU, are the reason I’m here. YOU, and your persistence. Before coming to MR, I spoke to other facilities trying to find a semblance of a life raft to help from drowning. You, Christine, were that life raft. That chipper little voice, after I sent a many of calls to voicemail, spoke to me like a person, not another body to fill a bed. You were so encouraging, accommodating and wonderful. You have no idea how much that means to someone at their lowest and most vulnerable. You PATIENTLY worked with my husband to ensure I, not only got to the program, but had a successful, stress-free experience throughout. I hope you know how grateful I am to you and just how instrumental you have been to my recovery. Sometimes getting through the front door is the hardest part so THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU.

4. What were key takeaways from your time in treatment? Were there any breakthrough moments?

Muskoka Recovery and Damien are responsible for introducing me to Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, and for this, my life has been forever changed. During my program, I was provided an introduction to DBT; Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness.

DBT has been successful in teaching me the basics of behaviour, understand why I choose certain behaviours, and how I can change ineffective ones.

I have begun to use DBT in all aspects of my life. Using Mindfulness to stay in the moment with my children or just hold/have an effective conversation without distraction. Distress Tolerance helps me deal with negative emotions as they come and prevent them from overwhelming me. Most importantly, has taught me that “FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS”. I continue to learn skills during our weekly DBT groups and implement them to better my overall wellbeing.

5. Did Muskoka Recovery provide services to help you sustain your recovery? What skills did you learn in treatment that have helped you to remain sober?

Thanks to my successful treatment program at Muskoka Recovery, I am 66 days sober (JANUARY 12, 2024). I am privileged to attend weekly aftercare group, as well as DBT group every Thursday, provided, at no extra cost, by MR and Damien Delaney. I’ve been blessed to build a community that includes clients I completed treatment with as well past successes.  Meeting weekly, checking in, hearing other struggles and successes, and ongoing DBT education has been instrumental in my continued success.

6. What other factors play a role in your recovery? Support systems, communities etc.

I rejected attending AA in past recovery attempts, and held onto ideas that I could do it alone, this ideation obviously did not work. Working with staff from MR that have also maintained successful sobriety, helped me understand the importance of building a sober supportive community at home. Since completing my recovery journey at MR I attend regular, weekly, AA meetings, have joined a home group and am in the process of finding a sponsor and working the 12 steps.

7. What advice would you give someone considering Muskoka Recovery as an option for in-patient treatment?

My advice for anyone struggling with mental health and/or addictions, and are seeking a life in recovery, anyone who’s seeking the tools, and support needed to improve their mental health, and achieve sobriety should seriously consider Muskoka Recovery.

8. What are you looking forward to in the future now that you are in recovery?
   • What are you most grateful for in your treatment journey?
   • What message would you like to share with those considering in-patient treatment at Muskoka Recovery?

For the first time in my life, I look forward to my future. With the help of MR, aftercare, DBT training and AA, I truly believe I have the desire, motivation, skills, and support needed to build a successful, emotionally regulated life in sobriety. For this, I am eternally grateful. Life gets tough, wise minds faulter, but in the hardest of times I have a sober community to reach out to, direct communication access with Damien as well as other MR support staff. I am forever grateful to MR for saving my life. I’ve been on this emotional suppressing road, filled with drugs and alcohol, for far too long. Muskoka Recovery provided the information, insight, tools and skills necessary, to not only stay sober, and manage my emotions but actually live a joyful, fulfilled life. I highly recommend this program for anyone seeking freedom from the chains of addictions and dysregulated mental health.